Author: admin

Author of My Life

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What Lord can I give you
Broken as I am?
In total surrender
I turn to You

Author of my story
Teller of my life
You, my lord, in glory
And I in my strife

Teach me you are present there
In all the pain and rage
When the people gathered see
The anguish on my stage

Bid me come to you and hold me in your hand
Your love is eternal, stretching o’er every land
Bid me rest in you, and let my cares be still
For they fade away in the light of day
Yet your love never will

When the fears taunt me
Bid me come to you
And when night terrors scare me so
Father, love me true
Till the break of day

Pour Your Gifts

Dance Lord in our midst
Send your Spirit
Touch our lives

Pour your gifts over us
Like oil
Touch our brokenness
And teach us
Of joy

And peace surpassing understanding
Joy without end
Teach us the melody
Of a song without end

Love us, as you loved us into birth
Guide us in our journey
As we live upon the earth

Love us as we wander
And return home to you
For you are eternal
Ever old, and ever new

A constant in a world ever changing
A world born anew each day
The constant voice calling
Showing us the way

The song of the birds
The joy of the earth
Revelling in the love
That is constantly coming to birth

We are part of the story
Each has a part to play
Blest, loved, forgiven
As we journey 
On our pilgrim way

Teach us Holy Spirit
Paraclete blest
Of the love that is our Father
And the Son that is blest

For our breath is yours
Our heart beats for you
Father, Son, Spirit
Love born anew

For you are our Lord
Ever old, ever new
And you
Are the reason
We are travelling
To you

Blest Are They

Blest are they with wounded hearts
And with broken souls
For the master healer will touch them
Make them whole

We are all wounded
Yet choose not to see
That the master healer
Touches and sets free the broken hearted

Break our stubborn hearts
And bend our wills
Teach of your healing touch
Tell us you love us still

Lead us back
When the world seduces
An innocent eye
Promising riches and fame

Let us not end
In the pig sty
Longing to fill our hearts
With the food they leave

We will never be free
Or whole
Unless we are whole in you

Call us back
Seduce us once more
With songs of love
And wholeness

We are made 
To be yours
And we will never find joy
Until you are found

Bring us back
Lost sheep that we are
Embrace us in your mercy
And show us
We are truly loved
And bring us

Night Falls

Night falls once more
And fills the silence
The depth of night
Touches my soul
I am alone
Yet He is beside
The heart that beats
The love that waits
Is for Him alone

Bid me, Lord, come
When the deepest night surrounds
And the echoing sounds
Disturb my sleep

Bid me listen to your voice
That speaks of mercy
And tells of a love
Vaster than time

An endless tale
Told countless times
To those who fear
And ever near
You hold our hearts

You hold our hearts

Yes in our darkness you are the brightest light
And in our woundedness, you heal our soul
Give us Your Spirit
Grant us your peace
For we are lost
Yet the cost 
Of our freedom was paid

By a love that is eternal
And a heart that ever lives
To beat in time
With our own
Come, Holy Spirit touch us now
Heal our souls
And soothe our angry hearts
To make us whole

Soothe our hearts
And cool our anger
Speak once again
To a wounded child
Remind us Lord,
That you are Father
And we are yours

Yes, we are yours
When rich or poor
Whole or wounded
Love us Father
Love us once more

The Road

The road is long
And weary steps I tread
For so long, my feet felt like lead
Yet, I know where I go
And am going to be

Where the water
Meets the sky
Where my soul can fly
Away from her

It fell dark
So quickly
And losing my way
I fell

The ground was hard
And I could tell
This is not the place
I want to be

I hold your staff
In my hand
And the land before me
Seems vast

It beckons me
Yet in that expanse
That silence
Stills my voice

Bids me hear the voice of calm
Echoing after the storm
“You are not alone”

“I am with you
Hold out your hand
Place it in mine
For I am yours
And you are mine”

Hold me close
Remind me who I am
Who you are
And bid the storm in my heart

A Year of the Pandemic – A Year to Remember

Who would have imagined it? A tiny virus bringing the planet to their knees?

On 20th March 2020, we were sent home, with the message that we would be working remotely. None of us had the slightest inkling of an idea what an impact that message would have

So many have pointed fingers, and criticised. First, the Chinese, then each government in turn. They didn’t act soon enough, or they didn’t do enough. Now it’s we want to open everything up again, and get back to normal

What, now, is normal? Is it obsessive hand washing, people scared to touch their faces? Wearing masks in shops, and running a mile instead of chatting to friends? Playing the guess who it is under the mask game?

In the end, none of it really matters. Yes, I want to get back to work, and yes, I want my routine back. I want to be able to walk into a church, and if I feel like it, sit next to a friend. I want to be able to walk in there without a mask, without test and trace, and without being told I can’t even sit and reflect after communion.

There are some positives though. None of us would consider ourselves to be antisocial, but in our everyday lives, how many of us talk to our neighbours? Mainly because we work full time and we just don’t see each other

This is the second spring with us working from home. We have the time to gaze out into our gardens, watching the blackbird having a wash in the bird bath, or gathering nesting material. We see horses, with riders, going past the front window. There are stables not far from us, so it’s not an unusual sight. Watching the sparrows have a dust bath, or squabble as they bounce around in the trees in the front garden.

When we have the chance to look back, after this is all over, what will we remember? Will it be the anxious times, sitting watching the Prime Minister urging us to stay at home and protect the NHS? Or will it be the delights of nature?

I suspect it will be both

Either way, the Lord is still here, ever present, ever loving. The cross of love has always been constant, no matter the human landscape changing and evolving in front of it. Christ’s sacrifice was for all time, and His love ever with us.

I know I am struggling, nights are disturbed and restless, and days seem to vary in length, quite an achievement when I know they’re all the same length. I am also sure I’m not the only one.

All I know is that the cross is always there, God is a constant presence, and no matter our trials and tribulations, no matter how we feel, good or bad, we are loved, and really when it comes down to it

That’s all that matters!

Online Crucifixion

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How does it happen
Not a word is spoken
Yet an online

What’s the difference?
Between the mocking
Of the baying crowd
At Calvary
And the sniping
On social media?

The victim
The same
The pain
As real

By nameless voices

It’s all too easy
To mock
Behind words
Keyboards and mice
Modern nails

On crosses made
Yet the agony
Is real

Tell me
Would the same
Have happened
If social media
Had been
On Calvary?

Have no conscience
But we do

Virtual assassins
Just as dirty as the real ones
Take a look at ourselves
Would we like it?
Don’t dish out
What you can’t take

Thank God
He doesn’t judge
Pass sentence
With a keyboard
And a mouse

Heal this, Lord
Take us away
To the desert
Of the heart
Speak your love
In our lives

Take away
The knives
The pain
And love us
Once more

Dark Night of the Soul

Can you tell me
Where my heart went
When I lost my way
In the dark night
Of the soul

I Still can’t believe
What happened
So many things changed
I came out

Like one
Who survived
An emotional hurricane
Who stood
In the path
Of a tsunami
And survived

In the melee
My heart
Lost its way

My mind
Slammed the door
to my heart
Locked it tight
Telling it
“I’ll be back soon,
You’re better off here”

Mute, I watched
As pain
Shattered my family
Wreaking havoc
On my kin

Screaming silently
My heart raged
In the prison
With my mind
The only warden

The chaos subsided
Yet the mind
Afraid to let the heart feel
Kept it snared

One day maybe
The tears will fall
but my mind,
Lost in the night
Can’t find the door
The key is in the hand
But the door eludes

Show me, Lord
Light the way
Pierce the darkness
So I can see
Which way to go

Lead me
From the maze of numbness
Through bewilderment
And on
To the door to the heart

Lead me
Guide me
Hold me
Love me
As the door
And the broken
Shattered mess
That is the heart
Once more
Sees the light of day

For I am scared
So long stunned
And mute
Staring at things
Beyond my ability
To grasp

One day
I may
Be able to leave this place
But the scars
Need time to heal
And this warrior
A chance to rest

When I at last
Move on
Show me
Your love
Is a safe place
A refuge

For me
To just be
Who you made me

Away from decisions
Thrust demandingly
In an uncomprehending
Stunned, numb

I need a place
For me
Not a sister,

Just me
Your child
Longing to be

Break Your Bonds, Live Your Life

Last night I spent a couple of hours clearing brambles, ivy and rampant honeysuckle from an apple tree which produces fruit for cooking. They fall well and require no extra sweetening. I simply wanted to clear round the bottom to reveal the sandstone wall underneath, but it soon turned into a rescue mission, as the tree was covered by the ivy and the honeysuckle, with the wild brambles impeding the task

It struck me, as i unwound the honeysuckle that had wrapped itself round the branches of the tree, that unresolved grief and anger do the same thing to the human heart, encircling and snaring the unwary, dragging them from the day into a deep and dark place.

Only through friendship and prayer can the way out be found. Like my shears and secateurs snipping a way through, pulling the threads back to reveal the source of the honeysuckle, God seeks to heal the source, and friends help us to move on. With such companionship and release we can start to move forward

Our fear of revealing our true selves in such a broken state leads us to stay in darkness far longer than we should. Yes, grief and suffering are part of the human condition, but both are part of the journey too

Such experiences change us. Grief leaves an indelible and permanent mark on us, but need not define us

We are pilgrims, born to journey, staying in one place, whilst offering comfort, is not good for our souls and long term health

Think of all the increasing evidence to show a sedentary lifestyle is not good for the human body, we are made to move, and whilst sitting is the most comfortable thing to do, it’s the position that puts most pressure on the spine

What are the things holding us back? What are our brambles, our ivy and our honeysuckle, stifling our growth and holding us back. Is it time to let the divine gardener do his work and prune out all the chains and branches of our old burdens?

Tomorrow calls our name, it’s time to break the bonds and live in freedom, instead of watching on mute acceptance of them. The pruning may scare us, and bid us out of our numb complacency. Take us from passive to active, and remember what it is to be human, to be alive. Break the bonds, take His hand, and start to live!

Follow the Words and Be Free

Here they come
Dancing their way
Beckoning come, follow

The melody starts
Follow, play
Rejoice with us

We are spoken
When hearts are reaching
Love and sorrow 
We are uttered

Living on the breeze
Calling your name 
Live, love 

Follow, and you will hear
Stories old yet ever new
Of lives lived
Our song
As old as time
Yet young as the newborn cry

Your life will never be 
Empty, forgotten 
For we, your words
Will echo
Long after your journey 
Is over

So come, 
Join the dance 
Called life
Love, and be 
Set free

Savour the sunshine 
Relish the rain 
Never forget wonder
For we will remain

Dance like nobody’s watching 
Love without reserve
Take chances offered
Live in the moment,
For moments are all we have

See us in the flowers
The trees
The cry of the ocean
And hear the song
Of life

There are no words to remember 
For the song 
Is your own
Your journey too

So live, love, receive, give
Rejoice with me
Break the chains
Of your fear
And regret
Let them fall 
And be