Dark Night of the Soul

Can you tell me
Where my heart went
When I lost my way
In the dark night
Of the soul

I Still can’t believe
What happened
So many things changed
I came out

Like one
Who survived
An emotional hurricane
Who stood
In the path
Of a tsunami
And survived

In the melee
My heart
Lost its way

My mind
Slammed the door
to my heart
Locked it tight
Telling it
“I’ll be back soon,
You’re better off here”

Mute, I watched
As pain
Shattered my family
Wreaking havoc
On my kin

Screaming silently
My heart raged
In the prison
With my mind
The only warden

The chaos subsided
Yet the mind
Afraid to let the heart feel
Kept it snared

One day maybe
The tears will fall
but my mind,
Lost in the night
Can’t find the door
The key is in the hand
But the door eludes

Show me, Lord
Light the way
Pierce the darkness
So I can see
Which way to go

Lead me
From the maze of numbness
Through bewilderment
And on
To the door to the heart

Lead me
Guide me
Hold me
Love me
As the door
And the broken
Shattered mess
That is the heart
Once more
Sees the light of day

For I am scared
So long stunned
And mute
Staring at things
Beyond my ability
To grasp

One day
I may
Be able to leave this place
But the scars
Need time to heal
And this warrior
A chance to rest

When I at last
Move on
Show me
Your love
Is a safe place
A refuge

For me
To just be
Who you made me

Away from decisions
Thrust demandingly
In an uncomprehending
Stunned, numb

I need a place
For me
Not a sister,

Just me
Your child
Longing to be