My Voice

Is my voice
The choice
I make
To sing
To you

Where is the heart
That pledged
To serve you

The night came
And all light
I cried out
In the night

Where are you

I am lost
The cost
Of loving

Sometimes seems
A price too costly
To pay

I could not live
Without love
The ebb and flow
In harmony
With my own heartbeat

Help me
Draw away
From the darkness
Gather my life
From the flotsam
The jetsam
The wreckage
Of my heart

For such is the price
For love
Without measure
A treasure
Beyond compare

When rage
Takes hold
Pulling me downwards
Hear my cry

Be with me
Rescue me

Give me strength
Give me peace
Give me hope

But most of all
Give me your love

Without love
I am dead
A shadow
A ghost

Moving through the world
Without purpose
Breathing but not living
You gave me breath

And a heart
To love

When fear
Grips me
Squeezes my heart
Help me call
For I know
You alone
Can loosen its grip

And bid me come
And fall
Into your arms
Into your heart
And be one
In you

A Baby’s Cry

In the stillness
A whisper speaks
Smoke on the breeze
Speaks to a restless world
Love spoken, hovers over the world

A star
Shines brightly
In the winter sky
A baby’s cry
In a

Daggers drawn
Hearts torn
Carried by a baby’s cry
To heal the world

Even broken
Love is spoken
In that broken

Tell me
The cry
Of love
Goes unheeded?

Is fear
So ingrained in this broken world
The words
Whispered in creation
Spoken in salvation
Shouted when death’s chains
Were broken
Go unheard?

Still your heart
Let the word
Soothe your soul
Make you whole
For the whisper
The word

Covid-19 – an Update

In 2021, I wrote how the world was turned upside down by a pandemic

Little were we to know, even a year ago there was barely a glimpse of its impact

Whilst things are starting to settle down, Covid-19 is still very much here. True, vaccines have lessened its impact, but I feel as if our lives are now split into pre and post Covid

I suspect it will take a long time for us to recover. For a cough due to long standing issues with pleghm not to stand people scurrying. Colds and flu will still be here, it is naive to think people will not still sneeze, cough and fall ill to these things

In the meantime, there are many pluses that have come from this. The housebound now have the ability to join the Eucharist online. Those previously isolated are now connected

The psychological impact will last a lot longer, depression will be worse, anxiety will appear in those previously unafflicted.

All we can do is take each day as it comes, and live the best we can. If we struggle, be honest, be open. If you meet someone struggling and you feel OK that day, then take the time and listen, sometimes that’s all it takes, to lift the head and heart, and journey on

A Reflection – Changing Times

So many things are changing, work is now an open book, and a period of uncertainty has begun

I’m now entering the second year of my degree

My family is changing, evolving, and new challenges arise. Yet I still feel secure. Lots of decisions are on the horizon, yet I feel OK

For with all the roles, all the challenges, all the hats I wear, all the layers of my identity, I am still who I have always been.

A child of God

When all starts to change, move, and certain steps move onto escalators rather than solid ground, when the lift of my life starts hurtling into unknown territory and the layers start to fray at the edges, I am comforted by the knowledge that I am still blessed.

All I have to do is raise my head, and look once more to Calvary, and then to heaven. For there I see my brother, my friend, my father and the author of my life

I won’t deny it’s hard to raise that head, to stop the dread, the rage and the pain, but it’s worth it. For it reminds me I am valued and I am part of a pilgrim life, a journey that has friends and loved ones alongside me, but is ultimately my own.

So Often

So often
We miss the sound
Of trees
In the wind
The patter
Of the rain
On the pavements

Are we so blind
Behind the walls
The safety net
Of our lives?

From home
To work
And back again
Ever indoors
Never being part
Of the world
We inhabited

When shelters were just that
Not a permanent state of being

When did we decide
Being enclosed
Was acceptable

When did we choose
To be apart from nature?
To dominate
Rather than steward
God’s creation?

This is why we struggle
In the comfort
Of our walls
Of brick and stone
Yet flesh and bone
Was not designed
To be confined

My garden
Is how I am
Unkempt, surrounded by grass
And weeds
Yet still
Somehow surviving
Almost thriving

How can I be so comfortable
Making decisions that help others
Yet feel so broken, fragile
And unworthy

In spite of it all

I take comfort
From the fact
The one who made me
Loved me into being
Will protect me
And in time
Bring me home
To Him

Fire of Your Grace

Help me understand,
My life is in your hand,
And bid me cease my striving
For a peace
That is only found
In surrender

Speak to me
Of the rising of the Son
The new life He brings
The song we sing
As life awakens
And spring

The seed
Planted in the dark
Peeks out
Into the slowly awakening
New life
Seen in the ashes of winter

Whisper to me
Of the love
Ever present
Yet so much clearer
In the lengthening days

In the desert that is my life
And the cave of my tattered heart
I lose my way
And lost
Search frantically
For warmth and comfort
Unaware of the fire of your love, ever present
Just a touch, just a breath away

All I need do
Is cease the pacing
The searching
The self-induced yearning
And turn back to the warmth
To the fire of your grace
Your love,

Your peace

And simply

This is the Me I Hide

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This is the me
I run away from
The broken one
The yearning one
Wanting to be alone
Yet running scared

A breather
Much needed
Rescues me
From the running
And I rest

We are so busy
We forget
What living is
The gift of life
Taken for granted

Is no more
Yet its lessons
Prepare us

Is all we have
What we learn
Protects us
From when tomorrow comes
And today
Becomes another yesterday

We learn to teach,
And teaching, learn,
A perfect circle
But to learn
We need to listen
And listening needs silence
To truly understand

Lessons of the heart
Require silence
Total surrender
Of time and space
A place
To absorb
To learn
To accept

Who I am
Who You truly are
Who I am
In You

Gave me life
You are the air I breathe
The blood in my veins
Giving me life
The essence of every thought
My very intellect
A gift
From You
The author of my life

Bid me remember
When the traffic returns
When life gets hectic once more
That I may be distracted
But You remain

Whether the sky is blue
Or rain pounds the door
Snow blanketing the ground
When the leaves fall
Dancing gracefully
Pirouetting to the ground
You are there
In it all
And through it all
Your love hallmarks

All I ask
Is You bid me
Call me
To rest
Your whisper
In the tumult of life

“You are mine
I am Your God,
Rest in Me”

Let me shelter
In the shadow of your wing
Until the journey is over
And you call me home

Author of my Life

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The clouds break
I wake
From the shadows of the night
The morning light
Fills my gaze

Is not like
Any other day
It stretches before me
An unknown vista
The horizon
Beckoning me forth

I am eager to begin
But my heart
Is reticent
On the threshold
Of my life

The sweep of today
Concerns me
I am anxious
And prefer to hide away

Your love
Gently reminds me
This journey
Is not mine alone
A constant companion
You walk beside me

Turn my gaze
From the fear
That haunts my days
Leads my heart a merry dance
And leads me to bolt the door
And turn away

For my journey
Is never over
And will never be
Until the author of my life
Writes the final line
And calls me home

Behold, I Stand at the Door and Knock

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Why do I hide
Not let you inside
Slam shut the door
Of my heart?

Why do I feel
Such fear
When so near
Is the one
Who cures
All my ills

Is it because
I fear
To lose control
If my soul belongs
To You?

Why am I worried
When Your love
Has filled my heart
My soul
Belongs to You

Teach me
In the silence
That surrender to You
Is the answer
To all my desires

My journey
My searching
Lead me back
To You

So remind me
As I hide behind my castle walls
That I must come down
From that tree
And learn to be free

Once more