Dark Night of the Soul

Can you tell me
Where my heart went
When I lost my way
In the dark night
Of the soul

I Still can’t believe
What happened
So many things changed
I came out
Bewildered
Numb
Alone

Like one
Who survived
An emotional hurricane
Who stood
In the path
Of a tsunami
And survived

Somewhere
In the melee
My heart
Lost its way

My mind
Slammed the door
to my heart
Locked it tight
Telling it
“I’ll be back soon,
You’re better off here”

Mute, I watched
As pain
Shattered my family
Wreaking havoc
On my kin

Screaming silently
My heart raged
In the prison
With my mind
The only warden

Slowly
The chaos subsided
Yet the mind
Afraid to let the heart feel
Kept it snared

One day maybe
The tears will fall
Unchecked
but my mind,
Lost in the night
Can’t find the door
The key is in the hand
But the door eludes

Show me, Lord
Light the way
Pierce the darkness
So I can see
Which way to go

Lead me
From the maze of numbness
Through bewilderment
And on
To the door to the heart

Lead me
Guide me
Hold me
Love me
As the door
Opens
And the broken
Shattered mess
That is the heart
Once more
Sees the light of day

For I am scared
So long stunned
And mute
Staring at things
Beyond my ability
To grasp

One day
I may
Be able to leave this place
But the scars
Need time to heal
And this warrior
A chance to rest

When I at last
Move on
Show me
Your love
Is a safe place
A refuge

Somewhere
For me
To just be
Who you made me

Away from decisions
Thrust demandingly
In an uncomprehending
Stunned, numb
Face

I need a place
For me
Not a sister,
Daughter
Neice
Wife

Just me
Your child
Longing to be
Home

Break Your Bonds, Live Your Life

Last night I spent a couple of hours clearing brambles, ivy and rampant honeysuckle from an apple tree which produces fruit for cooking. They fall well and require no extra sweetening. I simply wanted to clear round the bottom to reveal the sandstone wall underneath, but it soon turned into a rescue mission, as the tree was covered by the ivy and the honeysuckle, with the wild brambles impeding the task

It struck me, as i unwound the honeysuckle that had wrapped itself round the branches of the tree, that unresolved grief and anger do the same thing to the human heart, encircling and snaring the unwary, dragging them from the day into a deep and dark place.

Only through friendship and prayer can the way out be found. Like my shears and secateurs snipping a way through, pulling the threads back to reveal the source of the honeysuckle, God seeks to heal the source, and friends help us to move on. With such companionship and release we can start to move forward

Our fear of revealing our true selves in such a broken state leads us to stay in darkness far longer than we should. Yes, grief and suffering are part of the human condition, but both are part of the journey too

Such experiences change us. Grief leaves an indelible and permanent mark on us, but need not define us

We are pilgrims, born to journey, staying in one place, whilst offering comfort, is not good for our souls and long term health

Think of all the increasing evidence to show a sedentary lifestyle is not good for the human body, we are made to move, and whilst sitting is the most comfortable thing to do, it’s the position that puts most pressure on the spine

What are the things holding us back? What are our brambles, our ivy and our honeysuckle, stifling our growth and holding us back. Is it time to let the divine gardener do his work and prune out all the chains and branches of our old burdens?

Tomorrow calls our name, it’s time to break the bonds and live in freedom, instead of watching on mute acceptance of them. The pruning may scare us, and bid us out of our numb complacency. Take us from passive to active, and remember what it is to be human, to be alive. Break the bonds, take His hand, and start to live!

Follow the Words and Be Free

Here they come
Dancing their way
Beckoning come, follow

The melody starts
Chimes
Joyful 
Inviting 
Follow, play
Rejoice with us

We are spoken
When hearts are reaching
Love and sorrow 
Yesterday 
Tomorrow 
We are uttered

Living on the breeze
Calling your name 
Live, love 
Be

Follow, and you will hear
Stories old yet ever new
Of lives lived
Our song
As old as time
Yet young as the newborn cry

Your life will never be 
Empty, forgotten 
For we, your words
Will echo
Long after your journey 
Is over

So come, 
Join the dance 
Called life
Love, and be 
Set free

Savour the sunshine 
Relish the rain 
Never forget wonder
For we will remain

Dance like nobody’s watching 
Love without reserve
Take chances offered
Live in the moment,
For moments are all we have

See us in the flowers
The trees
The cry of the ocean
And hear the song
Of life

There are no words to remember 
For the song 
Is your own
Your journey too

So live, love, receive, give
Rejoice with me
Break the chains
Of your fear
And regret
Let them fall 
And be

Free!

Come, O Spirit

Come, O Spirit
Enter our woundedness
Empty our pride
Our fear
And all
That keeps us
From being
Who you made us to be

For we are children of God
Our hearts and His
Beat in wonderful unity
Calling out
Revealing the story
Of creator
and created

Loving,
Living
Being,
Giving

Empty our busyness
Love our emptiness
Teach us to desire
Only you
For without you
We can do nothing
We are nothing

Yet, with the author
Of our lives
Our story
Tells of the journey
And looks onward
To our heavenly home

Empty My Heart

Come, empty this busy
Broken,
Proud, yet shattered heart

Grant me the peace
For which my soul yearns
For the only answer
To my plea
Is found
In you

For we are all
Broken
Shattered
Yet one
In the mystical body
Of Christ

Our journey is different
Yet we travel together,
Let our lives
Merge and meet
In healing

For our hands
Do Your will
and our lips
Proclaim Your praise
To a broken world

Teach us
To surrender
And let You
flow through our hearts
Our lives
May our will
Be Yours
Your kingdom
Made manifest
In our world

For only then
Will we
Truly
Know peace
And Your kingdom
Come